What a Fool Belives.......He Sees..........part 2

When I wrote this first part of this blog, I had no idea the effect that it would have on anyone who read it.  My cousin read it, and it touched her deep in her soul.  It touched her in a place that only someone who went through the exact same thing would recognize and understand.  She is beautiful and talented on the same level that I am talented.  The devil spiritually killed two birds with one stone.  The same male family member who shattered my self image shattered hers as well.  But we are going to reclaim our rightful place in this world.

You see she is a great musician, vocalist, and actress.  The same gifts and talents that saved my life............saved hers.  That proves my point that the same God who sustained my life through the melodies and notes of music has sustained hers as well.  But yet she commented that she still does not know where she fits in this world.  Because of the crime committed against her virtue she sees her life in those fun house mirrors that I spoke about.  What a Fool Believes........He See.  I am not calling my cousin a fool, but she has been fooled by the devil and so she sees in her self what the devil wants for her to see about herself.  But I see someone so beautiful and talented...........I see sooooooooooooooo much talent in her. And it kills me that she has not realized her FULL potential.  BUT................the same God that saw her hiding in her own little corner of the world broken and blemished and used up and thrown away is the SAME God that blessed her with massive amounts of talent. 

I want to say that no matter who you are, no matter what you have gone through, no matter what kinda crimes you have committed, GOD CAN CLEAN ALL OF THAT OUT.  GOD CAN TURN ALL OF THAT AROUND..............and even more than GOD CAN.............GO WANTS TO DO IT!!!!  God wants for us all to live our best life.  God wants for us to use ALL that She has put inside of us to make this world a better place.  No matter what the environment looks like around you, no matter what anyone tells you......................YOU CAN BE ALL THAT YOU WERE MEANT TO BE!

I've been watching the ROCKY series on On Demand Cable.  And let me be REAL honest.  I was soooooo young when the Rocky movies came out...............I didn't REALLY understand what all the hoopla was about.  But as a grown woman...........I watched the first Rocky and it BLEW MY MIND.  This was much more than just a boxing movie.  Rocky lived in deep packed in mounds and pounds of dirt, despair and degradation.  I mean if there was ANYONE on earth who had NO BUSINESS thinking that he could be great, be apart of something great, or even a party to something or someone great................ it was Rocky Balboa.  He lived in a one room dirty filthy shack.  He was uneducated.  He received 40 dollars a fight.  He was in love with a goofy retarded looking pet shop worker.  He used his boxing gift to beat up and break the bones of those who could not pay off their debts to his small time loan shark boss.  The owner of the boxing gym took his locker and gave it to another fighter who seemed to possess more character and promise than Rocky Balboa.  So what is that thing that would make someone who lived ground down into these conditions believe that he could go 1 round let alone 15 rounds with a world class Muhammed Ali type boxer like Apollo Creed?  WHAT A FOOD BELIEVES..................HE SEES.  It's as simple and as complicated as that.

Rocky believed that what he saw deep inside of himself was a much better representation of what he could achieve rather than looking at and believing in his circumstance.  And Rocky risked everything to take a chance on that little spark of greatness he saw in himself. But the song says, " ..........a tiny spark will remain, and sparks turn into a flame and love can burn once again.  All I want to say is that I am so happy that I serve a spark kinda God.  The bible says that if you have the faith the size of a mustard seed you can move mountains.  God is telling us that all you need to have is the spark and SHE will bring the flame. 

The problem that I have with most people is that we see our environment and we let our circumstance determine our outcome.  I know that my family and so called friends have looked at me and asked, "Who does she think she is?  She acts like she doesn't know that her family is dysfunctional as hell.  She acts like she doesn't know that she was abused and molested.  She acts like she doesn't know that she didn't finish college.  She acts like her belief in herself, qualifies her to think big thoughts and dream big dreams.  She acts like her self belief is enough for her to walk around confident and qualified."  And they are right.  I don't look at my molestation.  I don't look at my beatings and abuse.  I don't look at my rape.  I don't look at my rejection by my father.  I don't look at being overweight.  I don't look at any of that.  I don't look at any outward reflections.  I look INSTEAD, inside and I see that spark of greatess from God, and then I look straight to God.  And God reminds me that I was made in HER image.  I wasn't made in the image of my molester.  I wasn't made in the image of poverty.  I wasn't made in the image of not graduating from college.  I was made in God's image, and I have decided to believe what GOD says about my image.  And TRUST ME..............people have fought me tooth and nail about my confidence in myself.  And I have not been defeated YET!  And WILL NEVER be defeated into believing what anyone says about me.  And those of you all who have fought me on that........(Oh yeah I know my haters are reading) have lost REAL GOOD.  And I will tell past, present and future haters a little secret.  All you do is make me stronger with your hate.  You make me continue to prove to myself that I belong to God and not to you and your small minded jealous hearts.  So thanks for the hate...........you make me stronger and more beautiful with each ounce of hate that you in fuse into my life. I really appreciate it.

When you hate on me you make my singing stronger.  You make my writing more prolific.  You make my acting more genuine.  You make my songwriting more life changing and melodic. You make my directing (choir and theatrical) more well rounded and concise.  One of my favorite lines from the movie "The Five Heartbeats.............Donald Duck Matthews will be a great songwriter some day when he suffers more."  So will Okima when she suffers more.  Haters..........Yooo Hooo..........thanks for the suffering.......you have helped produce my ministry....I thank you sooooooooo much!!!

What A Fool Believes............He Sees..............so you haters are fool enough to believe that you see a loser.  But I understand that you TRY to treat me like a loser because you see a loser in yourself.  No one who is a true winner wants a bunch of losers around them.  I am pruned and challenged by working with those who are just as good as me, and who want to win...........I AM NEVER THREATENED BY TRUE GREATNESS.

What A Fool Believes...............He Sees.................part 3 coming soon to friends and foes alike.